The Superficial is becoming crap

I used to like The Superficial because it not only gave me some common ground in our celebrity obsessed world (being a no TV and very few movies kinda guy) and because it was damn funny, i.e...

Wait, what? Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love Hewitt have breasts? Did anyone else know about this? Because I've never heard them talk about it. And I've been sitting here, fake-admiring their modeling and acting prowess like a schmuck, when all the while I could have been real-admiring their breastigial prowess. Yeah, I know "breastigial" isn't a word, but I don't have time to think of not-fake words. I have years of staring to catch up on.

See? Funny, or so I think.

But anyway, now the editors and readers just call bizarre people ugly.

Some examples:



Myspace cutie (and non-celebrity) Weetzie Fawn



'whalish' Mariah Carey



'Mannish' Ashlee Simpson

And, of course, it was all over with this quote:

Scarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood's most natural beauty by a new poll of members of the National Association Of Screen Make-Up Artists And Hairdressers. Kate Winslet was named second and Catherine Zeta-Jones came in third. Orlando Bloom topped the male list, followed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Johnny Depp respectively.

Let this be a lesson to all you people out there. If you want to get yourself on a list of the top natural beauties, just put on 30lbs and look like you're supposed to be ugly.

Bleah. I don't even compute what that's supposed to mean. Database error... does not compute.

So... THERE!!

...

Hm, I spent a lot of time on that. Why am I...

Oh yeah, homework day. Avoidance in full force! Woot!